WIP- Scrap Hat

So I have a pretty nice collection of left over yarns in corresponding colors.  They've been sitting in a big plastic bag, getting tangled up, looking like stringy, rainbow vomit, so I decided to separate them by colors, and ended up with a very attractive pile of blues and purples.  They looked so nice together, in fact, that I decided to knit a hat with them.

So far I have six different shades going on, some solid, some variegated with purple and faint greens.  It reminds me of the ocean, in the Caribbean, when the water glides over the sand towards the shore.  Or when you look from a distance and you see different shades from the sun reflecting on the water.  I don't know what to call it yet.  Perhaps a name will come soon.

Knitters Anxiety

It's that time of year when summer dramatically transitions from beach season to scarf season.  As a knitter, and crocheter, I look forward to this time of the year for many reasons.  From the colorful leaves, to layering up in colorful knit accessories.  There's just something truly special about knitting during this time of year, and I seldom knit during the warmer times of the year.  But here, in Cairo, thousands of miles away from my New Jersey home, I find myself suffering from knitters anxiety, a very serious, and very imaginary, made-up emotional sickness.  This anxiety isn't just partial to knitters, but to crocheters, and other crafters alike.   

What causes knitters/crocheters/crafters anxiety?

Knitters anxiety can be caused by a number of factors, the main being a lack of yarn on hand.  This can be either financial, or just not knowing where to find yarn.  Other factors are stress, personal problems, or just having too many ideas, or patterns, and not knowing how to channel your options.  Sometimes pets, mainly cats, can contribute to knitters anxiety.  It's difficult trying to knit, or crochet, when your cat thinks you are playing with string.

Symptoms include restlessness, inability to focus, or commit, unraveling finished projects, and even browsing Pinterest for long periods of time.  

If you're like me, and suffering from this anxiety, whether you knit, crochet, sew, loom, or even just do miscellaneous crafts, I don't know what to tell you.  But perhaps, with research, coffee, baked goodness, and an international charity for broke crafters, we can come together and rise above our anxiety.  It will be tough.  There will be tears, crumbs, over pinning, and tangled messes that will take hours to unwind, but if we can all reach out to one another for support, we can overcome our creative problems and turn them into creative solutions.  

This is a joke.  But in all seriousness, this is real.  Thank you.

Catching up with Gratitude #9 ~ Coffee

It's been a while since I last posted on here because our computer "died" during a black out.  After almost two months of doing everything we could on a four year old Samsung SmartPhone, we finally got the laptop fixed.  It feels good to be able to do internet-things with ease.  Alhamdullillaah!

But getting on to it, I can finally blog about coffee!  Yes.  Coffee makes the day go by faster.  It also makes you move faster, think faster, and talk louder with more feeling and, sometimes, unnecessary excitement.

I am thankful for coffee, especially when I need it most on those days where it seems like life just can't get any more irritating.  Coffee keeps the monster in me at bay.  It turns my agitated grimace into a sarcastic grin, and keeps me from chasing the kids down with the belt when they cross the line.  It's easier to just say "Okay, you need to chill out now".  It makes tantrums amusing, even funny.  It's inspiring, and suddenly I have all sorts of warm, cozy ideas to jot down, knit up, or draw out.  It brings out my inner Little Miss Homemaker, and before you know it, I'm baking a fresh batch of biscuits for breakfast, and EVERYONE can have more than two because I just love everyone that much when there's caffeine coursing through my body, and triggering the pleasure center in my brain.  Life is sweeter when you have a belly full of coffee.  Your spouse is enchanting.  Your cats are the greatest little furry things to ever ricochet off your face, and steel your yarn while you were knitting with it.  Your mom is more hilarious than usual.  There's a blue sky in every room of the house.  You feel like singing out loud, while brainstorming on what amazing culinary masterpiece you're going to whip up for dinner.  You feel like you can do anything, BECAUSE YOU CAN!  Feeling stuck?  Feel like you're trapped in your own endless cycle called life?  Drink coffee!!!!

Yes!  Yes!  Coffee!!!  Coffee!!!  Coffee!!!  The best drug to ever be harvested!!!

Gratitude #8 - Support

Living in a foreign country, without a solid and reliable support,  it's easy to feel alone and helpless.  Things are very different here, in Egypt.  You can't call your vet at any time, or expect the careful and nurturing services we're accustomed to in America.

Our beloved cat, Shams, passed away not even an hour ago.  With a despair as fresh as a shiny, pink wound, we're struggling to hold on to our rationality.  We took him to the vet to get neutered two days ago, and struggled with shaky optimism as we tried to reassure each other that we just weren't accustomed to seeing cats fresh from the surgery.  In the end, we lost a dominant member of our family.  It's not going to be the same around here, and with two other cats scurrying around, my eyes will keep on adjusting to the empty space that used to be Shams.

Gratitude #7 - Patience

No doubt, being patient isn't always going to be easy.  I can recall a time when I had so much patience that I was practically an Ice Queen.  But lately I always feel heated up, sometimes on the verge of tears, or going on a rampage.  But patience keeps the beast at bay.  Alhamdullillaah for that.  Otherwise.....

But that's just an exaggeration....

Gratitude #6 - Crochet ~@~Bohemian Maxi Dress ~@~

If I couldn't crochet, I'd probably go crazy.  I'm grateful that even though I don't always have money to buy more supplies, or have the drive to make myself known so I can make money, I can still crochet.  If I have to take an old project apart, I will.  If I have to unravel a store bought sweater, or cut up an old T-shirt, I will.  I don't care.  As long as I can crochet, I don't care.

But Alhamdullillaah I was able to buy some local 100% cotton thread just before Ramadan started.  Slowly, little by little, I've been working on something that manifested from my own desires.  A combination of wanting to go to the beach in a bohemian cover up, and wanting to get married.  This is what I got...

 I'm very pleased.  Mashaallaah.  But it still isn't finished, I still have to weave in all the loose threads, and reinforce the straps a but more so they don't stretch or dig in my shoulders.  But I'm much too distracted by my newest project, which I started late last night, to do that.

Gratitude # 5 - ASMR

Autanomous Sensory Meridian Response.

A No. 2 pencil scribbling in a notebook.  Soft tissue paper, crumbled, folded, and swayed.  The delicate tapping of manicured nails on a wooden block, or a hard cover book.  The turning of pages.  A soft, reassuring whisper.  

By simply listening to those sounds, I experience the most relaxing tingling sensations, like my body is being caressed by sound itself.  It lulls and soothes me as the soft, gentle tingles spike and cascade over my back, neck, head and cheek bones.  Like a massage through vibration.  My face softens, my eyes become glazed over, and before I know it, my eyelids are slowly closing, and I'm asleep.  

Gratitude #4 - Silence

Silence is beautiful.  Silence is relaxing.  It's comforting.  It promotes self reflection.  It gives you a minute to let go of what's going on in the world so you can focus on fixing yourself.

I was born and raised in a town where silence was an everyday thing.  In fact, it was so regular that I never really noticed how much I loved it (needed it) until I moved to Egypt, where silence is difficult to come by.  There is never a truly quiet moment where you can just fade into the depths of your own mind, unless you're in a deep, undisturbed sleep.  There is always someone yelling, screaming, or crying outside.  There is always someone yelling, screaming, or crying inside.  There is always someone playing loud music in the middle of the night.  There is always someone constructing more villas.  There is always something.  Even now, as I sit here, approaching 2am, there are young boys playing soccer outside in the middle of the street.

I miss silence.  Silence is beautiful.  Silence is precious.  And here, in Cairo, it's a rare privilege.  Maybe too rare.

Gratitude #3 - Spine

The azan for isha went off not too long ago.  As it hummed in the background, I reflected on the necessary movements to complete a prayer, from standing up right, to prostrating on the ground in humility.  I can't speak for anyone but myself when I say that my spine is probably the one body part I simply cannot take for granted.  Perhaps it's just me, but I feel that some people do not appreciate their spines as much as they should, as they are the main support system of our bodies.  Without them we wouldn't be able to do even the simplest of things - things that we may be taking for granted, like cocking our heads to one side when trying to recall a particular memory.

The way I see it, Allaah (swt) designed us so perfectly so we can move about freely and comfortably.  But with all of the way-too-convenient technology making our lives easier, we've become sedentary and lazy.  As a consequence, we've grown accustomed to sitting on our behinds, our fingers doing most of the work, while our spines weaken from poor posture and lack of movement.  I think we all need to take a few minutes out of our day to show some love to this wonderful body part, even if we just do some simple stretches.  

Gratitude #2 - Chocolate

Chocolate.  Sweet, sweet chocolate.  I am so grateful for you.  Surely, without your sweet decadence, I'd be a monster.  You tame my hormonal cravings for sugar and violence, as I secretly enjoy you, locked up in my room with a good book.  You remind me that there is something sweet in this life.  And that's you.  Dear chocolate.  I love you.

100 Gratitudes Project - Gratitude #1: Thanks for breaking up with me

I'm having a real difficult time starting up this thing.  I think because I'm just so tired and feeling worn out creativity.  Each day feels like a struggle, whether I'm struggling to remember the bigger picture, - that I exist solely to worship Allaah - or struggling to not allow one child's constant rotten behavior to bring out the beast in me.  But then I happened across a post on Facebook -  Your 100 Gratitudes - and I thought, oh, this is perfect!  Just what I need.  Perhaps this little project will not only get my creative juices flowing, but will help give me a brighter outlook on my daily life.

Gratitude 1:  Thanks for breaking up with me.

Dear nameless ex fiance,

Thank you for breaking up with me and telling me two go back home to reflect on my life and Islam.  Looking back, it was a really weird thing to hear you say, considering how we were living, but if you hadn't (and by that, I mean if Allaah had not ordained any of this), I'd probably still be doing all those things that were dragging me down.  Alhamdullillaah, I feel like I'm afloat now, even if I have to paddle every now and then to keep my head up.  So thank you.  May Allaah guide you.  Ameen.