Gratitude #7 - Patience

No doubt, being patient isn't always going to be easy.  I can recall a time when I had so much patience that I was practically an Ice Queen.  But lately I always feel heated up, sometimes on the verge of tears, or going on a rampage.  But patience keeps the beast at bay.  Alhamdullillaah for that.  Otherwise.....

But that's just an exaggeration....

Gratitude #6 - Crochet ~@~Bohemian Maxi Dress ~@~

If I couldn't crochet, I'd probably go crazy.  I'm grateful that even though I don't always have money to buy more supplies, or have the drive to make myself known so I can make money, I can still crochet.  If I have to take an old project apart, I will.  If I have to unravel a store bought sweater, or cut up an old T-shirt, I will.  I don't care.  As long as I can crochet, I don't care.

But Alhamdullillaah I was able to buy some local 100% cotton thread just before Ramadan started.  Slowly, little by little, I've been working on something that manifested from my own desires.  A combination of wanting to go to the beach in a bohemian cover up, and wanting to get married.  This is what I got...

 I'm very pleased.  Mashaallaah.  But it still isn't finished, I still have to weave in all the loose threads, and reinforce the straps a but more so they don't stretch or dig in my shoulders.  But I'm much too distracted by my newest project, which I started late last night, to do that.

Gratitude # 5 - ASMR

Autanomous Sensory Meridian Response.

A No. 2 pencil scribbling in a notebook.  Soft tissue paper, crumbled, folded, and swayed.  The delicate tapping of manicured nails on a wooden block, or a hard cover book.  The turning of pages.  A soft, reassuring whisper.  

By simply listening to those sounds, I experience the most relaxing tingling sensations, like my body is being caressed by sound itself.  It lulls and soothes me as the soft, gentle tingles spike and cascade over my back, neck, head and cheek bones.  Like a massage through vibration.  My face softens, my eyes become glazed over, and before I know it, my eyelids are slowly closing, and I'm asleep.  

Gratitude #4 - Silence

Silence is beautiful.  Silence is relaxing.  It's comforting.  It promotes self reflection.  It gives you a minute to let go of what's going on in the world so you can focus on fixing yourself.

I was born and raised in a town where silence was an everyday thing.  In fact, it was so regular that I never really noticed how much I loved it (needed it) until I moved to Egypt, where silence is difficult to come by.  There is never a truly quiet moment where you can just fade into the depths of your own mind, unless you're in a deep, undisturbed sleep.  There is always someone yelling, screaming, or crying outside.  There is always someone yelling, screaming, or crying inside.  There is always someone playing loud music in the middle of the night.  There is always someone constructing more villas.  There is always something.  Even now, as I sit here, approaching 2am, there are young boys playing soccer outside in the middle of the street.

I miss silence.  Silence is beautiful.  Silence is precious.  And here, in Cairo, it's a rare privilege.  Maybe too rare.

Gratitude #3 - Spine

The azan for isha went off not too long ago.  As it hummed in the background, I reflected on the necessary movements to complete a prayer, from standing up right, to prostrating on the ground in humility.  I can't speak for anyone but myself when I say that my spine is probably the one body part I simply cannot take for granted.  Perhaps it's just me, but I feel that some people do not appreciate their spines as much as they should, as they are the main support system of our bodies.  Without them we wouldn't be able to do even the simplest of things - things that we may be taking for granted, like cocking our heads to one side when trying to recall a particular memory.

The way I see it, Allaah (swt) designed us so perfectly so we can move about freely and comfortably.  But with all of the way-too-convenient technology making our lives easier, we've become sedentary and lazy.  As a consequence, we've grown accustomed to sitting on our behinds, our fingers doing most of the work, while our spines weaken from poor posture and lack of movement.  I think we all need to take a few minutes out of our day to show some love to this wonderful body part, even if we just do some simple stretches.  

Gratitude #2 - Chocolate

Chocolate.  Sweet, sweet chocolate.  I am so grateful for you.  Surely, without your sweet decadence, I'd be a monster.  You tame my hormonal cravings for sugar and violence, as I secretly enjoy you, locked up in my room with a good book.  You remind me that there is something sweet in this life.  And that's you.  Dear chocolate.  I love you.

100 Gratitudes Project - Gratitude #1: Thanks for breaking up with me

I'm having a real difficult time starting up this thing.  I think because I'm just so tired and feeling worn out creativity.  Each day feels like a struggle, whether I'm struggling to remember the bigger picture, - that I exist solely to worship Allaah - or struggling to not allow one child's constant rotten behavior to bring out the beast in me.  But then I happened across a post on Facebook -  Your 100 Gratitudes - and I thought, oh, this is perfect!  Just what I need.  Perhaps this little project will not only get my creative juices flowing, but will help give me a brighter outlook on my daily life.

Gratitude 1:  Thanks for breaking up with me.

Dear nameless ex fiance,

Thank you for breaking up with me and telling me two go back home to reflect on my life and Islam.  Looking back, it was a really weird thing to hear you say, considering how we were living, but if you hadn't (and by that, I mean if Allaah had not ordained any of this), I'd probably still be doing all those things that were dragging me down.  Alhamdullillaah, I feel like I'm afloat now, even if I have to paddle every now and then to keep my head up.  So thank you.  May Allaah guide you.  Ameen.